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Response to "15 Honest Questions The Person You Marry Should Be Able To Answer"

♥♥♥ I came across this article on Facebook and I really cant say I agree to everything the article says.

Let's look at the 1st Question.

"1. Why do you love me?"
The last sentence of the paragraph of this question says "If your partner can’t answer why he or she loves you now, then imagine the inevitable uncertainty down the road."

Weeks and days before our Wedding Day I have asked ♥♥♥Danny♥♥♥ countless of times,

"Why do you want to marry me? Because I don't know why I want to marry you."

"Well, do you have any feelings of not wanting to marry me?"

"No"

"Then we're good!"

"How come? I am supposed to know why I am marrying you right? But I don't know."

"Ya but you don't have any negative feelings or thoughts about not marrying me."

~Silence~

So until now, after being married for 470 Days or 1 year and 3 months and 13 days including today, Nov 8th, I still have no clue. I just do not have the answer. Of course I love ♥him♥, and ~~divorce~~ is never in our dictionaries. It is never an option. Well unless I ever cheat on him. Which I will never. I just do not know why I love him. I just do♥

Someone once told me,

"There shouldn't be any reason. If one day that reason is gone, then does it mean you don't love ♥him♥ anymore?"

Well sure there could be a lot of reasons why I fell for him in the first place or why I am in a relationship with him but I just love him. There is no exact reasons that I can list down but he sure met my "List of qualities I want in my future partner". There is also no strong feelings that because of XXXXXX I am willing to marry him.

Nope.

But does it mean that our relationship is doomed? Or as the article says, uncertain? I mean our future is uncertain. If you strongly love someone because of his/her certain qualities, and he changes one day, isn't your whole world gone? If I do not know why I want to marry ♥him♥, and he turns into a monster some day, the ♥marriage♥ might be gone too. So, everything is uncertain. You may be so successful in your career but an illness can take your life away tomorrow. Even some insurances' policies changes sometimes,, Everything is uncertain. Even I changed too.

Only God's love is certain and nothing changes it.

And so I trust God regarding our ♥marriage♥, so I do not feel insecure or even thoughts that one day our ♥marriage♥ will end. Faith, is what I have in us and in God.

I realize sometimes, having God in our ♥marriage♥ makes all the difference in some people, their lives, values and even ♥marriage♥.

So I am still learning to love ♥him♥ and adapting to each other. Our characters, values, thinking and love language are different.

The second question is pretty much the same answer to the first.

"2. Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?"

It says "Your partner should be able to tell you what life experiences he or she hopes to share with you. It’s these little goals you set for yourselves that make your life special." at the end of the paragraph.

My goal in life is to get married and have a family of my own. Ta-dah~! My greatest and only goal in life. But as mentioned above, no particular reason why I want to spend the rest of my life with ♥him♥.

Question 3,,, similar to Question 10.

"3. Will you do your best to keep the romance alive?"

Now that I am married, depending on what kind of job you both hold affects this.
My ♥♥♥hubby♥♥♥ is an engineer and his work takes up A LOT of this energy = more sleep time.
Truth be told, I felt like I was the only one who wants to have the spark going initially. After countless of "communicating sessions", ♥we♥ understand each other more and hence ♥he♥ is also trying to keep the spark or romance alive Now and Then. It cannot be all time high and sweet. There has to be lows if not ♥he♥ says that I might take ♥him♥ for granted and will not appreciate ♥his♥ efforts. I agreed with that too.

After getting married, ♥we♥ live together under one roof, and due to ♥his♥ and my job nature back in Singapore, we do not have the extra time to sent texts to each other. Sometimes I would message ♥him♥ during my lunch hour but his work place has very bad reception so he might not receive it even. ♥He♥ would pick me up from work if ♥he♥ works morning shift; ♥we♥ have lunch together when he works night shifts. Sometimes I would wait up.

Due to us being different, I can do with 5-6 hours of sleep and be awake and usual at work, at most feeling tired when I end work but after I bathe I am energized again. But for ♥him♥, ♥he♥ needs At Least 8 hours of sleep. No more no less. ♥He♥ cannot sleep too long after the 8-hour mark. Too much and too little sleep will give ♥him♥ headaches or feeling lethargic the WHOLE DAY. Yes, the whole day. His work requires ♥him♥ to be energized and on tip-top condition. If not, a single mistake can easily cost his life. So I have already gone past that and understood and accepted his needs now. No point for me fussing it every times when nothing is going to change the fact that that is his job. So I got past that. It's a need, not an option.

Now that I am a housewife, I would go to bed with ♥him♥ when ♥he♥ works morning shifts rather than staying up like I used to. I would check his work time every day and count the hours to know what time ♥he♥ needs to sleep. The things I dislike hearing when ♥he♥ works night shifts are:

"I am going to work now" (no choice) ._. I wish I could spend more time with ♥him♥,,

"I need to go in earlier today" +_+"" ZZZZZ... It's a bomb dropped on me... grrr......

So being his wife and being realistic or mature just means sucking it up sometimes.
Still learning to be realistic. I used to love having ♥him♥ planning everything and being in charge but recently I decided that I should be part of everything to avoid ~~"unwanted unpleasant surprises"~~.

Now that I am married, with this being the last sentence, "Is your partner willing to keep the romance as one of his or her main priorities?"

I would say no it is actually not a priority at all. It is a luxury even. The main priority would be to lessen each other's burden, supporting each other, being there, loving each other, learning more about each other, adapting and so much more should be the priorities. When you have those, the "spark" or "romance" comes. You would want to make the extra effort from your busy and sometimes stressful life to do small and or pleasant surprises for each other because you appreciate him/her. Like an idiom in Mandarin, 苦尽甘来的感觉。When you learn to appreciate everything your partner does for you, this will seem like a very small thing. It does not matter anymore because you will feel blissful.

Question 4

"4. Will you grow with me, and not away from me?"

I have never thought of this question before and for us, it is a very natural thing. When you learn to adapt to each other, learning more about each other, you would naturally grow together.

Question 5

"5. Will you stick through the rough times?"

♥We♥ just know,,, ♥We♥ did not ask each other these,, :D

Question 6

"6. Are you willing to lose some battles in order to keep the peace?"

It might be easy to say "Yes" to this question before you get married but for me, I learnt that along the way :D It is all part and parcel of ♥Marriage♥.

Question 7

"7. Can you promise to put us ahead of everything else?"

FYI: I do not agree on everything this paragraph says in the article

♥We♥ attended a brief ♥marriage♥ counseling by our pastor and it was very clear to us that ♥we♥ must put each other above any and everyone else. Yes that's right. Even our children or our parents. Usually dramas would portray characters to go "I only want the kids" and not the other half but ♥we♥ always put each other FIRST.

Question 8

"8. Will you be a great parent?"
I quote this from the article "Some things don’t need too much thinking involved. You’re going to be great because you decided you will be."

Actually, there are a lot of thinking to do.

♥We♥ did not discuss much about this topic either before ♥marriage♥. After ♥marriage♥, when I start to think deeper did ♥we♥ discuss and try to establish the kind of values ♥we♥ want to teach, methods and etc. But you can roughly gauge by your partner's parents way of bringing your other half up and the values or influence your other half's parents give your partner.

Question 9

"9. Will you be sure to remind me how much you love me regularly?"

Again this is something I thought would happen just like that because ♥we♥ love each other.
I guess it is good to establish some basic guidelines no matter how small or unimportant it may seem.

Question 10 is similar to Question 3 so I will skip it.
I do not think Question 11-15 really matters or relates to us so I am not going to talk about them.

Conclusion.

These are all just based on my experiences and views. Everyone is different. There may be similarities but there will always be something different, be it small or large.

From reading, talking to your parents and married couples and even going for ♥marriage♥ counselling helps with your ♥marriage♥. For us, God binds our ♥marriage♥ together so I have no fear that ♥he♥would stray or that this ♥marriage♥ would end. Of course ♥we♥ still have to put in effort to love each other, support each other and most importantly, learning and finding ways for 2 different person to live, love and communicate. Communication between husband and wife is very important. I am still learning and finding ways to make this ♥marriage♥ work.

♥♥♥ We are human beings after all, needing and wanting love from each other.♥♥♥

♥Good night from USA~!♥

Labels: 15 Honest Questions The Person You Marry Should Be Able To Answer, 8th Nov, After Marriage, Marriage, Marriage Life

❤ "Response to "15 Honest Questions The Person You Marry Should Be Able To Answer"" was Posted On: Saturday, 8 November 2014 @11/08/2014 12:23:00 am | 0 lovely comments ✿

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